Snippets of Spring

A deep breath of fresh air, a little more sunshine, and a lot more color. Thank God for spring.

Running

The kind of spring that gets me running. A bag of workout clothes and tennis shoes always packed and in the trunk of my car, just waiting for me to go for a run after work. I recently ran farther than I ever have in my entire life. I ran five miles with a girl at work who is training for Nashville’s half marathon this weekend. I wanted to quit. I wanted to quit so badly. But she kept running, so I did too. And by the third mile I was feeling good again. And by the time I was close to mile five, I was all smiles and cheers when I finished out the run. You might be rolling your eyes. I, too, am an eye roller when people talk about running. It makes me a little crazy, especially when people talk about running and liking it. I usually don’t. In fact, I always hope that someone will see me jogging down West End and get the impression that I am athletic. The best part of running in Nashville right now is that there are so many runners training for the marathon that if I get tired and am out of breath after running one block, people have no clue if I have just run 20 miles or 20 yards.  Oh, and you might be rolling your eyes because you run 10 miles every morning. In that case, get it girl (or dude). More power to you.

Power Walking

A few friends and I did the Chick Fil A 5k in Brentwood last weekend.

We just walked it. And when I say just walked I mean that there was a little power walking involved. Because I think it’s hilarious. And it was on video. You’re welcome.

Advertising

I recently purchased makeup from Bare Minerals for the first time. Cover Girl quit making my compact, so I moved on. I went into the Bare Minerals store and got the free makeover to test the products / shades. I let the sales girl do her thing, made my purchase, and then continued on my way throughout the mall. People were noticing me. Staring actually. I trotted through the mall with a newfound confidence in my new makeup. I must look great, I thought. Bare Minerals really is the best, I confidently told myself. And then I got home. And I set my bag down on my bathroom counter. And I took a look - my first - at the bag that I had been carrying around the mall all afternoon.

I'm not wearing foundation.

Yep. That's why people were looking. Staring awkwardly. Because I was a carrying a giant sign begging people to stare at my face. Great...

Sleep Talking

I went on a Spring Retreat with my young professionals group at church a few weekends ago. One morning I showed up at breakfast, sat down at a table of girls from my cabin, and said “Ashley, your sure did talk a lot in your sleep last night. And loudly!” They all turned to me and gave me a You must be kidding me stare as one of them said, “No, Emily. You talked in your sleep.” In my sleep I thought I was talking to Ashley, but I guess I was just talking out loud to myself. And I talked loud enough to wake myself up. Nice.

Wrong Talking

Something very important happened to me recently. I discovered that for 25 years of my life (all of them) I have been wrong. Very wrong. And I didn't even know it. All of my life, I have used the word "stook" as if... well.. as if it is an actual word. "I stook up for him when they were making fun of him." I know the phrases "stood up" and "stuck up", but all of this time I thought that "stook" was acceptable as well. When someone questioned me, I said, "Oh. Must be a southern thing." So I consulted the mother of southern lingo - my mother. She informed me that it's actually just an "Emily thing". I'm bummed. I like it and find myself wanting to say it even more frequently.

Biking

It’s finally time to dust off the motorcycle again. I’m obsessed. I go home any chance I get to hop on the back of the bike with dad.

A friend recently asked me if I wear leather when I ride. The answer to that is no. No, I don’t wear leather. In case you were wondering, I usually wear jeans and a tshirt. I’m not that intense. Although dad and I are planning another Harley weekend trip this summer. Destination? Charleston. Cruising down the Atlantic coast. Oh yes, I am so pumped.

Planning

Oh yeah, trips. I have a big one coming up this summer. Currently planning a big driving trip out West with the parents. Flying to Denver, then driving through Nebraska, South Dakota (Mount Rushmore and Custer State Park), North Dakota, Montana (my best friend!!), Wyoming (Yellowstone), Idaho, and then flying back out of Utah (Salt Lake City). I loved Yellowstone when I went a couple of years ago. I’m so excited that I can’t stop talking about it. Seriously, though. Have anything that I must see? Let me know.

Praying

My thoughts and my prayers have been consumed by Boston and West, Texas. My heart is broken for the families who are hurting. I find myself praying over and over again “Hold their broken hearts. Carry us.” Thank God for spring because it reminds us of Life and Hope and New Beginnings – all of which we so desperately need right now.

My Christmas Wish

Emmy, what do you want for Christmas?

Toys and Big Bird.

What kind of toys?

Toys and Big Bird.

What will Santa be bringing you this year?

Toys and Big Bird.

What is on your Christmas list?

Toys and Big Bird.

I was two that Christmas and had never wanted anything as much as I wanted a Big Bird. My answer always stayed the same. “Toys and Big Bird.” I said it so often that our family and friends just kept asking me more and more often to see if my answer would ever change. It never did. I was unwaveringly certain of what I wished for that year. And under my tree that Christmas?

Toys and Big Bird, of course.

 Bottom Right: Toys and Big Bird

Still going strong... and going a little bit blind.

Unless you are a wishing for a trampoline, Santa never lets you down.

I have wished for many things over the years. And my favorite Christmases were the year of Big Bird, the year of the doll house, and the year of the basketball goal.

But the best Christmas present that I ever got was something that I never even knew that I wanted. I was in seventh grade and my Granny had just been diagnosed with cancer 4 months earlier. Because she lived next door, I was able to visit her every day while she was sick. Every single day. I never missed one. I always showed up with cookies in hand or a handmade card or most of the time just a big smile – because that is what she wanted the most. She would always pat my cheeks and tell me that she loved to see me smile. Long before I ever thought I could be beautiful, Granny would tell me so.

I recently found a school picture that I gave Granny in 96-97. On the back she had written "Beautiful".

Granny and I just before my first Christmas.

And that year for Christmas, her very last one, Granny had a special gift for me. She had wrapped up a little angel pin. The pin that the doctors gave her when she took her very last chemo treatment.

It was the first time that I wished for something bigger than a Christmas present. It was a Christmas present that made me wish for hope. It was a gift that changed my heart.

From that point on she always called me “Angel”. She would talk to me about how I was part of her heart. How I was her gift that made fighting a battle worthwhile. How I was her joy when she didn’t feel like smiling. How I was her delight and anticipation when the days felt long but she knew that I would soon be stopping by. So I kept showing up every day with a big smile and a lot of hope because that is what calmed her heart. And mine.

And just a few short months later when Granny moved from the arms of the people who loved her heart to the arms of the One who loves her soul, I wore my angel pin on my dress and prayed for a sign of hope. And that bright April morning, a day far too warm for any such thing, it began to snow. My restless heart settled as sweet snowflakes fell on my face while I cried her into a better place - her Home.

Oh, and over ten years later when we laid our Pa down beside his bride on Valentine’s Day, even though it was nowhere in the forecast, it began to snow again – another reminder of hope from above.

Christmas isn’t the same for me anymore. I have always been known for loving gifts, but gifts look a lot different to me now. For one thing, getting something like a vacuum cleaner makes me really happy. But now the presents don’t matter nearly as much as presence. As joy. As hope. As love. And now my wishes can't be wrapped and left waiting for me under a tree.

Now I wish for things like joy – for bright smiles and homes full of laughter.

It’s why things like my mom dropping an entire plate of cornbread on the floor is more memorable than the thousands of times that she made it perfectly.

Or why we laugh so hard that our eyes water when my sister wears my grandma’s wig. Again.

It’s why I send an ornament to my nephews every year after Thanksgiving. Because the anticipation of Christmas always brings a smile.

Or why I dance around singing Christmas carols at the top of my lungs – no matter how terrible I sound. And I blare my favorite Christmas song on my way to work every morning – Unspeakable Joy – and my coworkers always ask why I am in such an exceptionally good mood lately.

Or why, when it comes time to give, we all give big. We buy toys for children that we will never meet, and donate food to families we may never know, and say prayers for everyone who may be alone.

I wish for memories – to be shared and to be made.

It’s why I like putting up the family Christmas tree – because digging out the Christmas decorations, sorting the branches, and untangling the lights is half of the fun.

And why I take my time hanging all of my ornaments on my side of the tree – because each one has a story and was, at one time, a favorite.

 My 1/3 of the family tree.

And why I adore when my sister comes to my condo to help me decorate my own place.

Because putting up a tree while using only one arm would have been quite difficult. 

And why I love holiday crafts that will tell stories for years to come.

They say things like: “I made this one night with my mom.” Or “This hung in my first home.” Or “This was the first Christmas decoration that I ever owned.”

And why I mix in a little bit of “old” with the new – because it reminds me of Christmases in Granny and Pa’s den – passing out brown paper sacks full of fruit and nuts while laughing at Pa for sneaking into his presents out of turn.

The star from Granny and Pa’s tree.

The star actually hung from the wall behind the Christmas tree. I never did ask why...

I'm on the bottom right in the reindeer handprint shirt (that I wish I still owned).

I wish for time. Something so valuable that we don’t just give it, we spend it. Because today is the oldest that I have ever been and the youngest that I will ever be again. This time and this place and this moment. It is my treasure.

Its why having surgery on my arm isn’t quite so bad when it means more dinners around the table, more visits from friends, and more phone calls from people who are a part of my heart.

 A Sleep CD and Dream Catcher from a sweet friend

Get Well Soon balloons just to make me smile. They did.

And it's why I look forward to every time that I meet with my 8^th grade girls at church.

It’s why I say “Yes.” more than “No.” and ignore a To-Do list to hang out with friends and stay up late to talk on the phone to friends far away.

It’s why I make sure that everyone that I love knows just how much they mean to me. And why when something is on my heart – a compliment, a memory, a “You mean the world to me” - I share it. Because I wish for time, but I will never know how much of it we have.

And I wish for Jesus, Himself.

For the world to see and love Him this Christmas season.

And I wish for Him to be born in our hearts over and over again.

I wish for Him to be welcomed in our world.

And, as always, I wish for the thrill of hope that makes the weary world rejoice.

What Are You?

My latest weekend adventure was chaperoning my church’s middle school retreat. I am a Covenant Group leader for the 8^th grade girls, so it was great to go and spend more time with each of them! Weekends like that are the experiences that build incredible relationships. Those middle schoolers all have a very special place in my heart.

I hadn’t been on a middle school retreat since... well… since I was in middle school. It had been a long time since I had taken a cold shower with flip-flops on, sang around a campfire, and played games involving ‘dares’. I had forgotten just how fun and full of life middle schoolers are!

And I also had multiple conversations just like this one:

Are you a mom?

No.

You seem like a mom. Why aren’t you a mom?

Because I’m not married.

You seem like you are married. Why aren’t you married?

Because I want to be single right now and do my own thing.

Oh, so you are in college!!

No.

You aren’t in college and you aren’t married and you aren’t a mom? What ARE you?

I didn’t know what to say. I had a moment like the guy in this Chevy commercial.

I had a million things to say. Plenty of really great answers. My mind was racing in a million directions. I wanted to tell her that we are defined by so much more than the titles of "Wife", "Mother", and "Student". I wanted to tell her that there is no standard age for when you get married. I wanted to explain the importance of finding who you are before finding a husband. I wanted to tell her that the time between College and Husband is not No Man's Land (okay, well technically I guess there are no men), but it is probably going to be some of the best years of her life - just like it is for me. I wanted to tell her about all of the beauty that I see in the marriages around me from some of my dearest friends who were blessed to find their perfect partner early in life, but also the beauty in the strong, independent women who never settle and wait longer to find The One – because there is just as much beauty in the wait, too. I wanted to tell her that her story doesn’t begin with a significant other or with children – that it begins with herself. I wanted to look her in the eyes and challenge her that maybe if we searched for God the way that we are always searching for Mr. Right – in our churches and our universities and our careers and in our relationships – that our lives would be full of more Love than we could imagine and overflowing with all things Right.

What are you?

The question hit me like a ton of bricks a bride’s secondary bouquet. And I stood there with a blank expression on my face, just like Chevy dude, while my mind raced to the tune of Beyonce’s Single Ladies. The inquirer's middle school attention span did not allow for my wandering thoughts and she turned and walked away while I mumbled something vague like “A young professional...”.

Smooth.

Oh, but now I am ready. Next time, sweet girl. Next time you are getting a heart-to-heart.

Surrounded

As I mentioned last month, I am a contributing blogger to Stir (the blog for my young professional's group at Otter Creek). Head on over and view my latest posting!

http://ocstir.wordpress.com/2012/08/28/surrounded/

A Birthday Letter

This weekend I celebrated the big Two Five birthday. A whole quarter of a century. Sounds really old, right? :) Well, ten years ago I thought it was! If you had asked me when I was 15 where I would be in ten years, I would have said "I'll be married, have two kids (a girl already here and her sister on the way), own my own business, and clearly I will have made my first million by then." Well, 25 is here. And I am nowhere that I thought I would be, but I'm everywhere that I want to be.

Dear 15 year-old Emily,

You are such a planner that it makes me laugh sometimes. You think you have your life all planned, but believe me, the journey has a few detours. No worries, though. You will end up in a better place than you could have imagined.

Right now you think you'll go to Lipscomb and be a physical therapist. Ha! Well, I don’t want to spoil any big surprises for you, but let’s just say a different school will win your heart and that Chemistry will NOT be fun.

 Oklahoma Christian University, where the physical therapy dream lasted about six weeks.  Four majors later, I found my home in Marketing. 

Those white oxfords that you wear to high school every day with a red, white, or navy ribbon in your high, preppy pony tail? Well, you will still wear white oxfords sometimes. But now they are paired with high heels and pearls.

You think that making good choices will simply keep you out of trouble, but they will carry you so much farther than you know.

You are thoughtful and smart and have more reasons to be confident than you think. In fact, your 25 year-old self still needs that reminder sometimes.

Your great relationship with your parents and sisters that everyone says is temporary? That teenagers will undoubtedly go through an anti-family phase? You don't have to. In fact, you never will.

Mom is still beautiful. And you will learn to love like her.

Hawaii, January 2012

Dad is still cool. And you will learn to be confident like him.

May 2012

Your sisters are still your best friends. And you will learn to be passionate like them.

Thanksgiving 2006

Those friendships that you are making now and investing your heart into? People say you'll lose touch after graduation. That few relationships will last past the move to college. They are wrong. Those friendships are irreplaceable and you are smart enough to never let them go. And they are still your dearest friends today.

High School Graduation, 2005

Senior Banquet, 2005

Senior Banquet Karaoke, 2005 

(This picture is only hilarious if you know both of us and the fact that I absolutely cannot sing! I believe we were singing Britney Spears' "Sometimes")

 Graduation Party, 2005

And you will be so blessed with more incredible relationships. You will meet people in the next ten years who will change your heart forever.

Times Square, 2007

Yellowstone, 2011

Montana, 2011

Summer, 2010

Summer, 2012

Thurch Girls, Summer 2012

And, oh Emily, you have no idea how independent you are. Your roots run deep. But those wings? They'll surprise you. You are so self-sufficient. You'll move around the country a few times on your own.

 East Hampton, 2004

East Hampton, 2007

The Fund for American Studies: Georgetown, Washington D.C., 2008

Oklahoma Christian University, 2008

And you'll cry the first few nights. You'll forget luggage. You'll get lost more often than you'll like.  You'll make plenty of "how do I fix it"calls to Daddy and more than plenty "I miss you" calls to Mom. You'll make silly mistakes, but you'll make it just fine. You're stronger than you think.

You'll hold out for true love. And now? Your last name is still the same. And you are more than happy about that.  And it is so worth it.

And those dreams that are way out there on the horizon? The dreams that your teachers and family and mentors believe are possible long before you can ever even imagine them? They are like wildflowers that will soon be planted in your heart. They are just waiting for a space to grow. And they will surely grow.

 A Few of my Awesome High School Teachers, 2005

The spiritual journals that you are keeping now? Some days you'll look back and see how far you've come. And other days you'll look back and learn from who you used to be.

You'll have a lot of fun.

 Backpacking, 2003

 Hanging out on the Farm, 2004

OC Spring Sing, 2006

 Keith Urban Concert, Summer 2011

 White Water Rafting on the Yellowstone River, Summer 2011

 Sky Diving, Fall 2011

 Parasailing, Spring 2011

Surfing, Winter 2012

Canoeing, Summer 2012

And love a lot of people.

 High School Pals, Summer 2011

 Bonfire with Hometown Friends, Fall 2011

 Thurch Group, Fall 2011

 Thurch Group, Summer 2012

 Grandparent's 60th Wedding Anniversary, Fall 2011

 Fall Festival with the Cousins, 2011

Nephews, Winter 2012

 Family, Thanksgiving 2011

 Cousins, Christmas 2007

 Easter, 2012

And learn a lot of things. Like that talent isn't just what you see on a stage (thank goodness) and beauty isn't defined by what you wear and value isn't determined by the guy who likes you. In fact nothing determines any of that except for your heart and Who owns it.

And you think that you are still waiting on your story to begin. Dear girl, you are already living it. And God always writes beautiful stories.

You will learn and grow and trust and let your plans fly out the window so that God's plans can settle in and make themselves at home.

But Emily, you really don't need to know any of that stuff right now because you'll figure it all out with more smiles than tears and more confidence than fears. Just keep seeking. Keep loving. And by all means, keep on living passionately. And this life you are living right now? It's only the beginning!

Signed,

Me. You. Emily